Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The South Shall Rise Again

I am a runner, or at least I pretend to be, usually logging 2-4 miles a day. I don’t run fast, but I have a lot of endurance and since I am kind of an exercise and health nut, running all those miles fits into my lifestyle well. One of the many hazards of this lifestyle is getting hurt, knowing you are responsible for the pain and continuing the damaging behavior. The most bothersome and persistent “pain” I have had to endure throughout the years is the loss of toenails. On average, I lose about one toenail every 1.5 years. It is almost always the second toenail on my right foot. It gets a bruise under it and eventually just comes off. In order to prevent this disgusting occurrence, I wear toe rings all year round to keep my toes from rubbing on my shoes. This usually works wonders. I have been lucky because, as far back as I can remember, when I did lose a toenail it has always been lost in the non-sandal wearing season. This weekend, however, I lost two toenails. The second toenail on each foot! Now, as much as I hate to admit it, there are some southern values this little lady has internalized so deeply she cannot possibly ever overcome and having pretty, well-kept feet during the sandal season is one of them. My friend Vanessa and I have discussed this several times; we just never go without nail polish if our feet are to be on display. And now I have two hideous toes, devoid of not only polish, but also toenails! When I look at them, I do declare, I feel a faint coming on and feel the urge to grab my smelling salts. Not that I have any, but I want to paint the appropriate picture here. I really do feel very unkempt and somewhat naked. I have even contemplated not wearing sandals or flip flops until the darned things heal. Who knew that after all the years fighting the south’s pull, a little thing like toenails would yank my southern roots right out for the whole world to see?


Vanessa said...

Well, fiddle-dee-dee, Miss Scarlet, you simply MUST wear polish on your toenails or you'll be ostracized to the land of the Yankees! Makes me woozy just thinkin' about it. Pass me a Mint Julep will ya, honey?

bryan said...

yeah yeah... :D try one of those nail strengtheners.